سبد خرید

سبد خرید شما خالی است.

سبد خرید

سبد خرید شما خالی است.

پاسخ های انجمن ایجاد شده است

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  • Siavash Zare

    عضو
    9 آذر 1404 در 00:08 در پاسخ به: رایتینگ های تصحیح شده پزشکی OET

    ▇ Errors     ▇ Suggestions   ▇ Rephrased

    Dear Dr Lovelace

    Re: Mr Frank Marsden , DOB 10.03.1973 

    Thank you for seeing (refer/introduce) Mr Marsden, a 46-year-old electrician who needs (requires) a change in his hypertensive medication.

    • از اونجا که این یک نامه معرفی بیمار جدید به GP هست، فعل refer یا introduce مناسبتره چون پزشک هنوز بیمار رو ندیده.

    • فعل need در رایتینگ پزشکی فرمال نیست.

    In terms of his medical condition, he was diagnosed with hypertension on (in) 2016, for which he has been taking Diltiazem 180-240 mg/day for 1 year (for the past one year). He is a heavy smoker and has alcoholic dependency (alcohol dependence) (,) and attends alcoholic anonymous. Please note that he is allergic to penicillin.

    • این پاراگراف بک گراند بیمار است و نه مشکل اصلی یا دلیل اصلی مراجعه بیمار پس بهره اخر بیاد (قبل از درخواست پایانی)

    Mr Marsden first presented to my surgery last year with a generalized gingival swelling and halitosis. On all his dental visits(,) oral hygiene instructions has (have) been provided and scaling has been performed. However, his gingival enlargement didn’t subside(,) as it is a side effect of Diltiazem.

    • در کیس نوت نوشته possible side effect، پس شما باید با احتمال و نه قطعیت مطرح کنید.

    • “I suspect this may be a side effect of diltiazem.”

    • “It is likely that this is a side effect of diltiazem.”

    • “This appears to be a side effect of diltiazem.”

    Today(,) I advised him to stop smoking and reduce alcohol consumption(,) as alcohol could be smelled on his appointments, but he seems to need more support from a GP.

    • as alcohol odour was evident at his appointments. (more formal)

    • استفاده نادرست از But

    Mr Marsden has recently moved to Brisbane and doesn’t (does not)  have a local GP. Therefore, I recommended (that) he come and see you to assess if it is possible to change Diltiazem to another effective medication.

    Your support and management regarding his medical condition would be greatly appreciated.

    Yours sincerely.

    Dr Setareh Salehi

    • Purpose: 2/3

    • Content: 5/7

    • Clarity & consciousness: 3/7

    • Genre & Style: 4/7

    • Organization and layout 4/7

    • Language 4/7

      C+ Overall score: (300)

    @Setisal

  • Siavash Zare

    عضو
    8 آذر 1404 در 23:05 در پاسخ به: رایتینگ‌های تصحیح شده پرستاری OET

    ▇ Errors     ▇ Suggestions   ▇ Rephrased

    Dear District Nurse, 

    Re:Bill O’Riley , DOB:12 January 1960 

    ✅I am writing to request ongoing care for Mr O’Riley, a 59-year-old single man who was admitted to Spirit Hospital (,)Brisbane on September 2 and underwent a coronary artery bi-pass (bypass) graft surgery(,) following obstructive coronary artery disease. He is due to be discharged tomorrow. 

    ✅Mr O’Riley has been under our care in the Coronary Care Unit since his surgery on September 4(,) and his recovery has been progressive (promising ) with notable improvements in walking and surgical wound healing. (in his mobility and wound healing)

    • واژه progressive بیشتر برای بیماری‌های بدترشونده استفاده می‌شود (progressive disease, progressive deterioration).

    ✅During hospitalization, a rehabilitation exercise program has been commenced (was commenced/initiated) by a local physiotherapist. However, he is reluctant to cooperate. His medical history is significant for hypertension, which is well managed by metoprolol. He is a heavy smoker and drinker(,) and has been advised to cease smoking and reduce alcohol consumption. Although he has been counseled to follow a low-fat, low-cholesterol diet, he insists on eating frozen and unhealthy meals.✅Nice

    ✅Following discharge, he is scheduled for a follow-up visit to Dr Jensen, the local GP, on September 15. Given his history of non-compliance, I would appreciate it if you could monitor his adherence to (the/his) exercise and dietary regime (regimen) (,)as well as (the/his) smoking cessation and alcohol consumption. Should you require any further information, please do not hesitate to contact me. 

    Yours sincerely,

     Charge Nurse

    ✨Fantastic✨

    • Purpose: 3/3

    • Content: 6/7

    • Clarity & consciousness: 5/7

    • Genre & Style: 6/7

    • Organization and layout 6/7

    • Language 5/7

      B Overall score: (420)

     

    @reyhan

  • Siavash Zare

    عضو
    5 آذر 1404 در 15:35 در پاسخ به: رایتینگ های تصحیح شده پزشکی OET

    ▇ Errors     ▇ Suggestions   ▇ Rephrased

    Dear Dr Booker, 

    Re: Mr Darren Walker (D.O.Β: 05/07/1972) 

    Thank you for seeing Mr Walker, a 40-year-old a married smoker man, who is (was/has been) diagnosed with hypertension and has a family history of prostate cancer in his father. He is currently complaining of difficulty in passing water and requires your expert management.

    • “smoker man” → smoker / man هر دو اسم را با هم نیارید و فقط یکی استفاده بشه

    • avoid informal “passing water.” →”passing urine”

    • فشار خون بهتر بود در پاراگراف های آخر بیاد نه در مقدمه که هدف اصلی بررسی prostate cancer هست.

    Last month(,) Mr Walker presented to me for a routine check-up. His blood pressure was high (165/90) and his weight was 85(,) which was higher than normal for his height. For controlling (to control/manage) the risk factors of the blood pressure(,) he was advised to reduce his weight and try to stop smoking.

    •  higher than normal → above the normal range

    • he was advised to lose weight and to stop smoking

    • استفاده از “کاما”

    In one month review, Mr Walker’s blood pressure is (has) improved (145/80) by reducing his weight and decreasing the number of cigarettes per day (from 20 to 10 per day). Although he has been experiencing difficulty in urinating. His recent test result(s) shows a high PSA (10) associated (with) a digital rectal examination which is suggesting an enlargement of (the) prostate.

    • ❌ “In one month review,” → ✅ “At his one-month review,”

    • Although → برای ترکیب دو جمله در تضاد استفاده میشود اینجا فقط یک عبارت  وابسته دارید

    • Something Associated with something

    • عبارت associated with یعنی مرتبط بودن. اینجا شما دو جمله خبری دارید که باید بینشون and بیاد و هیچ کدام در ارتباط یا در نتیجه دیگری نیست.

    • ✅ “His recent test results show an elevated PSA level (10 ng/mL), and a digital rectal examination suggests prostate enlargement.”

    • Test results: همیشه جمع میاد حتی اگر یک آزمایش باشه

    In view of the above, I believe he needs (requires) further assessment such as (including) a prostate biopsy. It would be appreciated if you would inform me about Mr walker’s condition and treatments.

    • Need , such as , … are informal words in medical writing

    • Treatment is uncountable here

    If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to contact me.

    Yours sincerely, 

    Doctor 

    • Purpose: 3/3

    • Content: 4/7

    • Clarity & consciousness: 3/7

    • Genre & Style: 4/7

    • Organization and layout 5/7

    • Language 3/7

      C+ Overall score: (340)

  • Siavash Zare

    عضو
    23 آبان 1404 در 15:15 در پاسخ به: رایتینگ های تصحیح شده پزشکی OET

    ▇ Errors     ▇ Suggestions   ▇ Rephrased

    Dear Dr Smith
    RE:Mrs Priya Sharma,DOB:08/05/1958

    Word count: 167 words

    I am referring Mrs Sharma, a 60-year-old retired diabetic woman who is concerned about her glucose level control.

    Mrs Sharma has a strong family history for (of) diabetes, and she also has been (is) a known case of type 2 diabetes, on (for which she takes) Metformin 500mg, and Glipzid (Gliclazide) 10 mg daily. Her (other) past medical history is otherwise unremarkable.

    • Has been → is : از حال ساده برای بیان فکت استفاده کنید

    In January and February of this year, I visited her (she presented) in (on) four different occasions, (.) despite adding Candesartan, her blood glucose level wasn’t (was not) properly controlled. Furthermore, I have prescribed (prescribed)  Atorvastatin 20mg daily due to her high level of Cholesterol.

    •  شما بیمار رو ویزیت نکردید بلکه بیمار به شما مراجعه کرده، برخلاف معنای فارسی ویزیت کردن در انگلیسی یعنی شما رفتید بیمار رو دیدید.

    Today, she had a BP:155/100, and her BMI was 24. Her last eye check (examination) was two years ago that was normal.

    • “She has a BP:155/100” → “her blood pressure was 155/100 mmHg”

    Given the above, your expert opinion and management of her blood glucose, (no comma needed) would be appreciated. Please don’t (do not) hesitate to contact me if you require any further information.

    Yours sincerely
    Dr Ghanbarzadeh
    GP 

    این رایتینگ خیلی خلاصه شده و یک سری اطلاعات بیمار نیومده. حجم رایتینگ باید 180 تا 200 کلمه باشه. چند مورد مهم وجود داشت که باید به آنها توجه می‌کردید و جا افتاده بودند:

    • تاریخ تشخیص دقیق دیابت بیمار (1999) را ذکر نکردی.

    • توضیح ندادی که بیمار از قبل در خانه فشار خون و قند خود را کنترل می‌کرد.

    • نتایج آزمایشگاهی مهم مثل HbA1c، GFR و کلسترول قبل و بعد از درمان را نیاوردی.

    • تغییرات سطح قند خانگی و تفاوت بین fasting و non-fasting مشخص نبود.

    • دلیل دقیق ارجاع (فستینگ بالا و کنترل ناقص قند با داروهای فعلی) به طور واضح گفته نشده بود.

    مورد دیگه عدم رعایت اصل فرمال نویسی هست. بعضی جملات ساختار ناقصی دارند مثل:

    • “She has a BP:155/100” → “her blood pressure was 155/100 mmHg” 

    • “on Metformin 500mg, and Glipzid 10 mg daily” → “for which she takes Metformin 500 mg and Gliclazide 10 mg daily”

    • همچنین استفاده از فرم خلاصه مثل don’t , wasn’t

    لطفا جلسات گرامر و رایتینگ با دقت بیشتری مطالعه شوند

    • Purpose: 2/3

    • Content: 4/7

    • Clarity & consciousness: 3/7

    • Genre & Style: 4/7

    • Organization and layout 5/7

    • Language 5/7

      C+ Overall score: (310)

  • Siavash Zare

    عضو
    23 آبان 1404 در 13:16 در پاسخ به: رایتینگ های تصحیح شده پزشکی OET

    ▇ Errors     ▇ Suggestions   ▇ Rephrased

    Dear Doctor, 
    Re: Amina Ahmed (D.O.B: 12/08/2011)

    🛑Word count: 295 words🛑

    1️⃣✅Thank you for seeing this patient, an 8 year old (8-year-old) child who has been diagnosed with meningococcal meningitis. Currently she (she currently) requires your urgent assessment and treatment due to her uncontrolled fever and (possible) meningitis. (symptoms suggestive of meningococcal meningitis)

    2️⃣Initially, she was brought to our medical center on 09/10/2019, (no comma needed) with signs and symptoms suggestive of (a) viral infection. Her temperature was 39.4 (,) while her physical examination was normal. Therefore paracetamol was prescribed and (she) was advised to rest at home.

    3️⃣Three days later, she was reviewed and there were no improvements in her symptoms, ( . full stop) She was suffering from cough, loss of appetite and an ongoing headache associated with an uncontrolled fever. So (therefore,) Brufen 200 mg was prescribed, also (and) some tests such as FBC and UFR were ordered for ruling out (to rule out) the possibility of the infections (infection). Although the urine function report was normal, but the blood test showed an increasing (an increase) in white blood cells with a shift to the left.

    • استفاده همزمان از although و but صحیح نیست. هر دو نشان تضاد هستند و فقط یکی باید استفاده شود.

    4️⃣On review today, her parents were concerned and reported that she vomited two times (twice) last night (,) along with exacerbated headaches and lethargy. On examination she was febrile (40.2 c) with a rise in her pulse rate (an elevated pulse rate) (110 beats per minute). Despite a normal physical examination in the previous visit (جمله تکراری) , currently macula- papular rashes has  been appeared on her legs associated with a stiffness in her neck. (maculopapular rashes have now appeared on her legs, associated with stiffness in her neck.)

    5️⃣Based on her ongoing (persistent) fever and symptoms of meningitis, penicillin V was administered as a stat dose (a stat dose of penicillin V was administered) and she was immediately referred to your pediatric unit for further assessments and treatments. (این نامه هدفش همین ارجاع هست و این جمله رو نباید می آورید چون معنیش اینه که بیمار هم اکنون ارجاع داده شده)

    • 🔴همانطور که مشاهده میکنید رایتینگ شما 280 کلمه شده که بیش از رنج معمول است. دلیل آن این است که شرح visit های بیمار را کامل نوشتید. دقت کنید که رایتینگ باید چکیده و خلاصه باشد. پاراگراف های 2 و 3 و 4 و 5 باید خلاصه بشن به دو پاراگراف. یکی وضعیت کنونی بیمار و دو خلاصه ویزیت های قبلی. لطفا به سمپل نوشته شده رایتینگ پایین تسک در سایت رجوع کنید.

    6️⃣Please note that she has no prominent (significant) past medical history and also ( . full stop) Amina comes from a refugee family (,) but she and her father can understand English.

    7️⃣I would appreciate your urgent attention and assessment regarding (of) this patient.If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me.

    Yours sincerely Doctor

    • Purpose: 3/3

    • Content: 4/7

    • Clarity & consciousness: 3/7

    • Genre & Style: 4/7

    • Organization and layout 4/7

    • Language 4/7

      C+ Overall score: (340)

  • Siavash Zare

    عضو
    16 آبان 1404 در 20:49 در پاسخ به: رایتینگ های تصحیح شده پزشکی OET

    ▇ Errors     ▇ Suggestions   ▇ Rephrased

    Dear Dr Alaa Omar,

    Re: Mrs Somarin Khaze, DOB: 12 April 1972

    Thank you for accepting Mrs Khaze, a long-term patient of mine, whoes (whose)  featurs (features) are consistent  with breast cancer.

    Mrs Khaze is a 47-year-old healthcare worker and mother of four, who attended my clinic on 22  October 2019 with a left breast lump. She first noticed it six months ago which was non-tender(,) firm, and had not significantly changed in size. On examination, a hard, ill-defined mas (mass) (was:passive) palpated. An ultrasound and mammogram were arranged ; ( . full stop) her previous mammogram two years  ago was normal.

    At review (on a review) two weeks later, Mrs Khaze reported anxiety, sleep disturbance, and elevated blood  pressure (150/90 mmHg). Imagings revealed a solid 15×8 mm nodule, (which was) highly suspicious for  malignancy. Subsequent biopsy confirmed a moderately differentiated invasive duc (ductal) carcinoma.

    • “Imaging” is uncountable

    Please note, Mrs Khaze has a family history of breast cancer on (in) her sister (who was) treated by (with)  mastectomy, lymph node dissection, and chemotherapy. Additionally, she underwent a benign  lumpectomy five years ago.

    Given ebove (given the above), I would appreciate your urgent review and surgical management, including reconstructive surgery as per the patient’s request. Please do not hesitate to contact me if (any) further information is required.

    Yours sincerely,

    • Purpose: 3/3

    • Content: 5/7

    • Clarity & consciousness: 4/7

    • Genre & Style: 4/7

    • Organization and layout 5/7

    • Language 3/7

      B Overall score: (370)

  • Siavash Zare

    عضو
    12 آبان 1404 در 00:41 در پاسخ به: رایتینگ های تصحیح شده پزشکی OET

    ▇ Errors     ▇ Suggestions   ▇ Rephrased

    Dear Dr Childers, 
    Re: Mrs Jane Macintyre, DOB: 0I Mar 1980 

    Thank you for accepting Mrs Jane McIntyre, a 39-year-old woman who has recently become pregnant and has requested (a) referral for antenatal care and delivery at the Spirit Mothers Hospital. 

    • ❌ who has recently become pregnant → ✅ who is 8 weeks pregnant/who presented today with a positive pregnancy test

    • جمله اصلا اشتباه نیست از لحاظ ساختار/گرامر، اما حرفه ای نیست که بگید “اخیرا باردار شده”

    • ❌has requested a referral → شما تصمیم به ارجاع بیمار گرفتید و این درخواست بیمار نیست

    • ❌ delivery at the Spirit Mothers Hospital. → در مورد زایمان بیمار اصلا در تسک اشاره ای نشده

    ✅Mrs McIntyre is a mother of two with a history of two miscarriages. Her first pregnancy was complicated by severe pre-eclampsia and preterm caesarean section delivery at 32 weeks. Her second pregnancy and caesarean delivery were uneventful. 

    At today’s review, Mrs Macintyre reports (reported) being 8 weeks pregnant. She is suffering (has been suffering) from dysuria for the past 3 days along with Urinalysis shows 3+ protein and 2+ blood. The (other) examination and vital signs are unremarkable. She has a family history of thrombosis and has tested positive for heterozygous Factor V Leiden mutation, for which she was treated with low-dose low molecular weight heparin in (during) both previous pregnancies. 

    • ❌reported

    • دقت کنید حتی اگر بیمار امروز ویزیت شده باشد در نامه از گذشته ساده استفاده میکنید: “بیمار گزارش کرد که…” (گذشته)

    • ❌ is sufferin → ✅has been suffering با توجه به for the past 3 days

    ❌ اشتباه در اتصال دو جمله نامربوط با “along with”

    • ❌ عبارت “along with” برای افزودن یک مورد هم‌رده استفاده می‌شود، نه برای وصل کردن دو جمله‌ی مستقل. مثل:
       ✅ “She is suffering from dysuria along with urinary frequency.”
       (دو نشانه‌ی هم‌رده از علائم بیماری را به هم وصل کرده‌ایم.)

    اما در جمله‌ی تو، بعد از “along with” جمله‌ی جدید (“Urinalysis shows…”) آمده، که ساختار متفاوتی دارد و نمی‌تواند با “along with” وصل شود.

    In view of the above, I have recommended (prescribed/commenced) folic acid 400 mcg (mg) daily, tinazaprine 3500 unite (units) subcutaneously once daily, along with✅ cefalexin 250 mg every 6 hours for 5 days for (her) urinary tract infection. Antenatal blood tests were performed, and a scan for nuchal translucency was advised at 11–13 weeks. 

    I would kindly request (that) you to arrange (urgent) ongoing antenatal care as you consider appropriate for her(,) due to her high-risk pregnancy. Should you need any further information, please do not hesitate to contact me. 

    Yours sincerely 

    Dr Behnam

    • Purpose: 2/3

    • Content: 4/7

    • Clarity & consciousness: 5/7

    • Genre & Style: 5/7

    • Organization and layout: 5/7

    • Language 5/7

    خب رایتینگ شما هم خوب بود هم بد! اگر اشتباهات مقدمه نبود قطعا نمره عالی میگرفتید. مشکل زبانی تقریبا ندارید با تمرین بیشتر حل میشه. اما محتوای مقدمه خیلی مهمه و باید دقت کنید.

      C+ Overall score: (340)

     

    @faribabehnam

  • Siavash Zare

    عضو
    10 آبان 1404 در 22:33 در پاسخ به: رایتینگ‌های تصحیح شده پرستاری OET

    ▇ Errors     ▇ Suggestions   ▇ Rephrased

    Dear Director

    Re:Vamuya Obeki,aged 4 

    I am writing to request a follow-up care for Vamuya, a 4-year-old patient who was admitted to Children’s Emergency department with diagnosis of acute meningoencephalitis due to a complication following of mumps 10 days ago.

    • no article “a” before “follow-up care”

    • Following mumps – remove unnecessary “of”

    The patient is the first  child of a family of 4 (,) which includes his parents and an (a) younger brother. They are the refugee (refugees) from Sudan who arrived in Australia this year. Vamuya’s father is able to understand spoken English well ,but his writing ability is limited.Her (his) mother has a basic understanding of spoken English. Therefore,they require an interpreter.

    She (he) has fully recovered from mumps and meningoencephalitis,and  is due to be discharged today. Please note,her (his) parents report(ed) that their children’s vaccination(s) is (are) not  up to date. They received just (only) a few routine vaccines at birth whose (,but) record has been lost. The parents have had no  information regarding  Mumps vaccination.

    In terms of the above,I would appreciate it if you could schedule a neurological follow-up and  arrange an interpreter as well as provide (providing) advice  for (to) his parents on recommended vaccines. Please do not hesitate to contact me if you have any  further information. (have question / require information)

    Yours Sincerely

    Nurse Nahid Soltani

    • Purpose: 3/3

    • Content: 6/7

    • Clarity & consciousness: 4/7

    • Genre & Style: 5/7

    • Organization and layout: 5/7

    • Language 4/7

      B Overall score: (390)

    @user-231873

  • Siavash Zare

    عضو
    26 مهر 1404 در 15:15 در پاسخ به: رایتینگ‌های تصحیح شده پرستاری OET

    Errors     ▇ Suggestions   ▇ Rephrased

    Dear Consultant 
    Re: Ms Patricia Styles, Age 62 

    ✅I am writing to refer Ms Styles, a 62-year-old widowed patient, who was discharged from Green Valley Hospital 5 days ago following the diagnosis of pericarditis. 

    • ✅a 62-year-old widow

    ✅One week ago, Ms Styles presented at Green Valley Hospital with fever, pleuritic chest pain, general weakness, malaise, and tachycardia. She was diagnosed with pericarditis following (based on) an echocardiogram. Additionally, she was diagnosed with viral influenza type B by (confirmed by) a throat swab. Her examination revealed inflammation and her Chest X-ray was normal. She was discharged on 25 Aug 2019 after being administered IV saline and Ibuprofen. 

    ❌According to today’s observations (where? Nurse Home Visit?), Ms Styles is experiencing fatigue, chest pain, shortness of breath, and is frustrated with the progress (slow progress) of (her) recovery. She adheres to her medications and self-care at home. However, she did not reach any improvements regarding possible relapse or complications of pericarditis, her vital signs are normal. 

    • ❌ “According to today’s observations” → “On today’s home visit”

    • ❌ “However, she did not reach any improvements regarding possible relapse or complications of pericarditis,” → ✅ “However, there has been no improvement, and I suspect a relapse of pericarditis with complications

    • پرستار مشکوک به عود/بازگشت پریکاردیت همراه با عوارض است و برای همین شما دارید این نامه رو مینویسید و این خیلی مهم بود که متاسفانه شما به درستی بیانش نکردید. منظور جمله شما این است که هیچ علامت جدیدی مبنی بر عود یا عوارض پیدا نشده، وگیج‌کننده است.

    • همچنین اشاره ای نکردید که شما در واقع home visit رفتید و در متن مشخص نیست بیمار الان کجاست.

    ✅Ms Styles has a history of Hypertension, Diabetes mellitus Type 2, and Depression, which are generally well-managed. She has been prescribed Quinapril oral 40mg/2xday, Metformin oral 500mg/2xday, and Gliclazide oral 30mg daily. 

    • این داروها رو از قبل میگرفته و بهتره از فعل take استفاده کنیم تا بگیم تجویز شده.

    Please arrange an urgent hospital transfer to Newtown Hospital for Ms Styles and provide urgent assessment and management regarding (for) pericarditis. 

    • ❌ “urgent hospital transfer” → ✅ “urgent transfer to NewTown Hospital”

    Yours sincerely 

    Nurse

    • Purpose: 2/3

    • Content: 4/7

    • Clarity & consciousness: 4/7

    • Genre & Style: 5/7

    • Organization and layout: 6/7

    • Language 5/7

      C+ Overall score: (330)

     

    @mahsa-hamzei

  • Siavash Zare

    عضو
    23 مهر 1404 در 02:07 در پاسخ به: رایتینگ‌های تصحیح شده پرستاری OET

    ▇ Errors     ▇ Suggestions   ▇ Rephrased

    Dear Director

    Re:Ms Bronwyn Green,aged 68

    ✅I am writing to refer this patient, a 68-year-old widow who was admitted three weeks ago with (a) diagnosis of  low-grade adenocarcinoma.

    ❌She underwent a right-side hemicolectomy on 20/01/2019. Post-surgery care was provided in the ICU. Due to (following) a five-hour anaesthesia, she sustained (developed) respiratory and metabolic acidosis. During hospitalization in this ward, she was on oxygen therapy with oxygen saturation of 98%. Due to experiencing short (shortness) of breath during mobility, she was required to assist with the walking. After five days,Ms Green was transformed (transferred)  to the rehabilitation ward for ongoing care, and  has been in this ward until today. Over this period,her condition has been promising. Her dependency to (on) oxygen therapy has decreased. The wound-healing process has been  satisfactory. Currently, the patient’s mood and appetite is (are) good. Her mobility has made a steady progress, and she requires using a single point stick .Due to urinary incontinence, she is required to wear a  pull up pad.

    • Sustain:  یعنی “تحمل کردن” یا “حفظ کردن”

    • ببینید رایتینگ شما 260 کلمه است که بیشتر از حد معموله… که نشون میده اطلاعاتی در متن اومده که اضافی است. این اطلاعات رو بنده با رنگ قرمز هایلایت کردم. دقت کنید که هدف نامه اینه که پرستار بعدی بدونه باید برای بیمار چیکار کنه. و مواردی مثل آنچه در بخش icu گذشت اهمیتی ندارد و نباید در نامه آورده میشدند.

    • ❌ “she was required to assist with the walking.” → ✅ “she required assistance with walking.”

    • ❌ Depend to → ✅ depend on

    • ❌ “a steady progress,” → ✅ “steady progress,” (remove article “a”).

    • ❌ “and she requires using a single point stick.” → ✅ “however she requires the use of a single-point stick.”

    ✅Regarding her medical and social history, she has been suffering from hypertension, COPD, anxiety and depression, for which takes several medications. The patient has a history of smoking although she has  stopped that recently.

    She is due to be discharged tomorrow. Please note, wound-dressing (wound dressing) must be changed every three days. Her anxiety and oxygen therapy need to be monitored. The patient is able to  be self-medicate. At the time of discharge, Ms Green will be accompanied by her sister.

    I would appreciate it if you could take over this patient’s care. Please do not hesitate (to contact me?) if you have any further questions.

    Yours Sincerely

    Nurse Nahid Soltani

    • Purpose: 3/3

    • Content: 4/7

    • Clarity & consciousness: 3/7

    • Genre & Style: 5/7

    • Organization and layout: 4/7

    • Language 4/7

      B Overall score: (350)

     

    @user-231873

  • Siavash Zare

    عضو
    22 مهر 1404 در 21:39 در پاسخ به: رایتینگ های تصحیح شده پزشکی OET

    ▇ Errors     ▇ Suggestions   ▇ Rephrased

    Dear Dietitian, 

    Re: Alex Roden (DOB: 24 September 1951) 

    ✅I am writing to refer Mr. Alex Roden, a 68-year-old widowed patient who (whom) I have been visiting after undergoing triple bypass heart surgery. He is seeking (requires) a dietary assessment and appropriate nutritional recommendations. 

    •  :seek معنی: به دنبال چیزی بودن، درخواست کردن، نسبتاً غیررسمی‌تر و معمولاً از دید بیمار استفاده می‌شود.

    ✅In terms of his recent medical history , Mr. Roden was admitted to our hospital on 17 August 2019 due to an angina attack. After an uneventful recovery, he was discharged with dietary recommendations including a low-calorie, high-protein, low-cholesterol, and gluten-free diet. He was also advised to increase fluid intake, which I have been monitoring . 

    • Hypertension?

    ✅Regarding his habits, since the death of his wife, Mr. Roden has not cooked and has relied on takeaway meals and red meats such as steak and sausages, typically accompanied by frozen vegetables instead of fresh vegetables. He gave up smoking 3 years ago and has reduced alcohol consumption. 

    ✅Over the past six months, he has had a weight gain (of) approximately 5 kg, and his BMI is currently 33, which falls into the obese category. He has not exercised since his favorite club closed. Although he is struggling to adhere to the recommended diet, he has expressed motivation to improve his eating habits. 

    ✅In view of the above, it would be greatly appreciated if you could provide with your assessment of his dietary guidance and meal planning. Please note that copies of the Heart Foundation’s healthy eating brochures have been provided to the patient. 

    • Provide something / provide someone with something

    Should you require any further information, please do not hesitate to contact me. 

    Yours sincerely, 

    Allice Raymond 

    Rural Community Health Nurse

    • Purpose: 3/3

    • Content: 5/7

    • Clarity & consciousness: 5/7

    • Genre & Style: 5/7

    • Organization and layout: 6/7

    • Language 6/7

      B Overall score: (420)

     

    @989229013707

  • Siavash Zare

    عضو
    15 مهر 1404 در 17:54 در پاسخ به: رایتینگ های تصحیح شده پزشکی OET

    ▇ Errors     ▇ Suggestions   ▇ Rephrased

    Re: Mrs Jane MacIntyre    D.O.B: 01/03/1980

    Dear Dr Childers,

    ✅Thank you for seeing Mrs Jane MacIntyre, a 39-year-old woman, (no comma needed) requiring (who requires) your further antenatal assessment and management considering her age, previous pre-eclampsia and caesarean section.

    «requiring» شکل کوتاه‌شده‌ی «who is/was requiring» هست و یعنی «که نیاز دارد».
     اما این فرم بیشتر وقتی استفاده می‌شود که جمله درباره‌ی وضعیت فعلی بیمار باشد، نه در جمله‌ی رسمیِ تشکر یا معرفی. مثلاً:

     ✅ She was admitted to hospital requiring oxygen therapy.

    Mrs MacIntyre presented following a positive home pregnancy test, reporting that her last menstrual period was on 26/01/2019. In terms of her obstetric history, she has had severe pre-eclampsia in her first pregnancy(,) for which she underwent (a) Caesarean section at 32 weeks (at 32 weeks of gestation). Furthermore, she has a positive family history of thrombosis and is heterozygous for factor V Leiden(,) for which low molecular weight heparin was administered during both her pregnancies. While she has had two miscarriages, her second pregnancy was uncomplicated.

    Rephrased: for which she received low molecular weight heparin during both pregnancies

    • البته اشکالی که در اینجا هست اینه که شما تا قبل این به حاملگی دوم اشاره نکرده بودید و در جمله بعدش اشاره شده.

    ✅Today, she was complaining of 3-day dysuria. All physical examination (findings) were normal. (A) Urine dipstick has revealed 3+ protein, +2 nitrites and +1 blood. She was commenced on Tinzaparine 3.500 units daily subcutaneously, Cefalexin 500mg every 6 hours for 5-day course (for 5 days) and Folic acid 400 mg (daily?) until 12 weeks of pregnancy. Please note that (a) nuchal translucency scan was (is) arranged (advised) and routine antenatal blood test results will be sent to your center.

    • ❌ “was complaining of 3-day dysuria” → ✅ “presented with a 3-day history of dysuria”

    ✅In view of the above findings, your obstetric assessment and further care and birth management would be appreciated.

    Should you require any additional information, please do not hesitate to contact me.

    Yours sincerely

    Doctor

    • Purpose: 3/3

    • Content: 6/7

    • Clarity & consciousness: 5/7

    • Genre & Style: 5/7

    • Organization and layout: 6/7

    • Language 5/7

      B Overall score: (420)

    @shailin

  • Siavash Zare

    عضو
    13 مهر 1404 در 12:58 در پاسخ به: رایتینگ‌های تصحیح شده پرستاری OET

    ▇ Errors     ▇ Suggestions   ▇ Rephrased

    Dear Ms Ponsford

    Re: Mr Lionel Ramamurthy, Aged 63

    ✅I am writing regarding Mr Ramamurthy, who was admitted on 04 February 2019 with a diagnosis of Pneumonia, and he will return to your care upon his discharge tomorrow.

    • ❌ “Pneumonia” → ✅ “pneumonia”

    ✅Mr Ramamurthy was presented (presented:active) with acute dyspnoea associated with wheezing, fever, and sleeplessness. He reported chest and abdominal pain following a persistent cough. He also felt weak and required a walking frame for his daily activities.

    • ❌ “felt weak” → ✅ “experienced weakness” more formal

    ✅After a week of hospitalization, Mr Ramamurthy has made good progress overall. His inflammatory markers (have returned) returned to normal. He is now afebrile and able to perform his personal hygiene and (daily) activities more independently. He has been encouraged to ambulate regularly and perform breathing and coughing exercises to relieve his signs of dry cough and chest pain.

    ✅Kindly administer Paracetamol for Mr Ramamurthy’s chest and abdominal pain, if needed (required). Please keep him warm and continue monitoring his diet to maintain a good nutritional status by taking adequate fluids and healthy foods, (and) to help him gain weight. Additionally, ensure that his postural drainage is performed while sitting, rather than lying down. Kindly arrange a check-up for his poor eyesight regarding a cataract operation 16 months ago.

    Rephrased: Kindly arrange an eyesight check-up, as he continues to experience poor eyesight following cataract surgery 16 months ago

    Please do not hesitate to contact me for any further queries.

    Yours Sincerely,

    Charge Nurse

    • Purpose: 3/3

    • Content: 6/7

    • Clarity & consciousness: 5/7

    • Genre & Style: 5/7

    • Organization and layout: 6/7

    • Language 5/7

      B Overall score: (420)

    @mahsa-hamzei

  • Siavash Zare

    عضو
    9 مهر 1404 در 01:19 در پاسخ به: رایتینگ های تصحیح شده پزشکی OET

    ▇ Errors     ▇ Suggestions   ▇ Rephrased

    Dear Dr Benerjee,

    Re: Ms Eleanor Bennet

    D.O.B: 06/12/1975 

    Word count: 290 (180-200)

    I am writing to refer Ms Bennet, a 45-year-old divorced woman with 2 children who requires (an) assessment of her medications following a heart attack. 

    Ms Bennet had been admitted in hospital (Oakville General Hospital) on 8 February following her (a) heart attack at  (the) airport after a long-haul flight. She had experienced jaw aches, nausea and shortness of breath, and (a) defibrillator was subsequently applied by (a) first-aider. Her condition was managed with (a) balloon-expandable stent via (the) groin.

    • ❌ “had been admitted in hospital” → ✅ “was admitted to Oakville hospital”

    • “بستری شدن” باید به صورت passive بیاد. همچنین زمان گذشته ساده. همچنین حرف اضافه to >> بیمار بستری شد

    • ❌ “jaw aches” → ✅ “jaw ache”

    One month ago, Ms Bennet was discharged, and was advised to take 4 weeks off work. Consequently, captopril (50mg twice a day) and atorvastatin (80mg daily) were prescribed, and lifestyle changes were recommended. She exhibited stress due to a poor relationship with her mother (her carer), and had poor compliance with her cardiac rehabilitation sessions.

    • ❌ “She exhibited stress…” → ✅ “She has exhibited stress…”

    • ❌ “and had poor compliance” → ✅ “and has shown poor compliance”

    • Present perfect is better here to connect past discharge with ongoing effect.

    Today, Ms Bennet presented with concerns of side effects of captopril, and reported dizziness, headaches and episodes of diarrhoea. She requested to discontinue (discontinuation) of captopril, and is reluctant to start a new medication. 

    • ❌ “concerns of side effects” → ✅ “concerns about the side effects”

    Please note that she has a family history of heart disease in her father (father’s side). Ms Bennet is a smoker (20 cigarettes a day) and (is) overweight (BMI 29), and she has increased her alcohol intakes (intake) to 40 units per week. Additionally, she reported extreme stress regarding the care of her children, who mainly live with their father.

    I would appreciate it if you could review of medications of this patient, and encourage her to make some changes in her lifestyle. Please contact me if you need any further information.

    • ❌ “review of medications of this patient” → ✅ “review this patient’s medications”

    Yours sincerely,

    Dr….

    اشکالات اصلی در متن شما به شرح زیر است:

    1. اطلاعات غیرضروری زیاد بود. من بخش‌های اضافه را برایتان هایلایت کرده‌ام. از حجم کلی رایتینگ مشخص است که اطلاعات خارج از موضوع اصلی زیاد بوده است. هدف: داروهای بیمار نیاز به ارزیابی دارند و بیمار باید به تغییر سبک زندگی تشویق شود. توضیحاتی مثل محل بروز سکته قبل بستری و علائم اولیه، وضعیت تاهل و داشتن فرزند ارتباطی با هدف نامه ندارند.

    2. عدم رعایت صحیح آرتیکل‌ها. در چند بخش، از “a” و “the” به‌درستی استفاده نشده بود که دقت در این مورد ضروری است.

    3. اشتباه در زمان افعال. در برخی جملات از زمان نادرست استفاده شده است. لطفاً مواردی که برایتان مشخص کرده‌ام را بررسی و تحلیل کنید تا بتوانید در نوشته بعدی خود به‌درستی به‌کار ببرید.

    منتظر رایتینگ بعدی شما هستم.

    • Purpose: 3/3

    • Content: 3/7

    • Clarity & consciousness: 4/7

    • Genre & Style: 5/7

    • Organization and layout: 4/7

    • Language 4/7

      B Overall score: (350) با ارفاق

    لطفا وبینارهای رایتینگ و درس زیر مطالعه شوند:

    وبینارهای رایتینگ

    درس آرتیکل‌ها (A, An, The)

    @mobina-sharifzadeh

  • Siavash Zare

    عضو
    6 مهر 1404 در 22:34 در پاسخ به: رایتینگ‌های تصحیح شده پرستاری OET

    ▇ Errors     ▇ Suggestions   ▇ Rephrased

    Dear Sir Hudson

    Re:Alice Cooper,aged 10

    I am writing to refer this patient, a 5 year student in (at) our school due to (the) possibility of psychological disorders following her father’s death.

    • ❌ “5 year student” → ✅ “year 5 student”

    Her father died due to an (a) motor accident 6 months ago. She is a (the) second child in  a family of three. Her sister is aged 12 and brother is aged 7.Her mother works as a bank manager.Alice has been experiencing eczema on  both her hands and she has had asthma,for which takes (uses) a  Ventolin inhaler. Her weight is above the normal limit (40 kg for a height of 138cm).

    • قسمت هایلایت شده در متن اضافیست و نباید در این نامه آورده میشد.

    • ❌ “eczema on both her hands” → ✅ “eczema on both hands”

    • جمله ای که زیرش خط کشیده شده باید به زمان حال ساده بیاد چون شرح اکنون بیمار هست:

    • Alice experiences eczema on both hands and has asthma.

    Since missing her father, she has had a history of frequent absence from school .She has been experiencing intermittent signs and symptoms including eczema , headaches, stomachaches, toothaches  and nausea.

    • ❌ “Since missing her father” → ✅ “Since the loss of her father”

    • ✅ She has often been absent from school.👉 او اغلب از مدرسه غایب بوده است.

    • جمله بالا ساده و واضح است. در جمله شما a history of جایگاهی نداره: بیمار یک سابقه غیبت از مدرسه داشته بوده است

    • ❌ “signs and symptoms” → ✅ “symptoms”

      • 🔹 Signs (علائم بالینی) چیزهایی هستند که پزشک یا پرستار مشاهده می‌کند، نه بیمار. و همچنین مواردی که هست واقعا تجربیات بیمار نبوده و در واقع به اون دلایل از مدرسه غایب می شده (که اغلب بهانه بوده). پیشنهاد من:

    • Since the loss of her father, she has had frequent absences from school. These absences have often been associated with complaints such as eczema, headaches, stomachaches, toothaches, and nausea.

    Alice’s performance was good before her father’s death. Currently,she has a poor concentration in the class, and is reluctant with sports activities. She has few friends. Despite taking (using) an ointment on her hands,eczema hasn’t improved. Therefore, eczema and being overweight have caused her embarrassment and decreased her self-steem.

    • ❌ “a poor concentration” → ✅ “poor concentration” (no article)

    • فعل take معمولا برای داروی خوراکی هست. برای پماد، کرم، اسپری آسم و … از use استفاده کنید.

    • ❌ “self-steem” → ✅ “self-esteem” (spelling correction)

    Please note,her mother reports (that) Alice was very close to her father. She (who: mother or Alice?) is overeating no nutritional value food  like chips and cakes.she (who: mother or Alice?) is anxious regarding her daughter’s condition.

    • ✅ “She is overeating foods with little nutritional value”

    • ❌ “like chips and cakes” → ✅ “such as chips and cakes”: More formal

    In view of the above, I believe that her signs and symptoms (are) suggestive of psychological disorders. I would appreciate (it) if you could assess her condition. please do not hesitate to contact me if you have any questions.

    Yours Sincerely

    Nurse Nahid Soltani

    Word count: 260

    • Purpose: 3/3

    • Content: 4/7

    • Clarity & consciousness: 3/7

    • Genre & Style: 3/7

    • Organization and layout: 4/7

    • Language 3/7

      C+ Overall score: (320)

    @user-231873

صفحه 1 از 16
1 2 … 16
رایتینگ شما با موفقیت ارسال شد.

فرآیند تصحیح بین ۲ تا ۳ روز کاری زمان می‌بَرَد. پس از تصحیح، رایتینگ شما در بخش «رایتینگ‌های تصحیح‌شده» سایت قرار خواهد گرفت. همچنین از طریق ایمیل و پیامک به شما اطلاع داده می‌شود.